BADLINKS!!!! | home
Jokes
1."Leaves"
Score: 4
(posted by Unknown on 04/23/00)
How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!!
2.coke machine"
Score: 4
(posted by cooh on 12/26/00)
a blonde goes to a coke machine and puts in her money. out comes a coke. She looks amazed and fumbles in her purse for more money. she starts feeding in coins and dollars like mad and when some people come behind her and ask if they can get their coke, she turns around furiously and says, "cant you see im winning!?!"
3.KILL A FISH"
Score: 3
(posted by NATE on 11/30/00)
Q:How does a blond kill a fish?
A:Drowns It
4.First Class"
Score: 3
(posted by memyselfandi on 07/24/00)
A gorgeous young Blode within an economy ticket settled into a first class seat. "May I see your ticket, Ma'am?,"The flight atenndant asked," Oh you have an economy ticket. you will have to move." But the blonde said,"I am a gorgeous blone traveling first class to Los Angeles." The flight atendant went to get another flight atendant, but the same thing happend. She was frustrated, so she went to get the captain. He told the blonde something in her ear. She then sprang from her seat and went back into economy."What did you say to her?" one of the flight attendants asked. The captain said,"I told her First class wasn't going to Los Angeles.
5.The VERY Dumb Blonde"
Score: 3
(posted by Me with a "e" on 11/19/00)
One day, a blonde that lived in a farm got 2 horses. After she got them, she realized that she couldn't tell them apart. So, she went to her neighbor (the neighbor never saw the horses) and asked,"How can I tell my horses apart?" And the farmer said," Why don't you paint one?" So that's what the blonde did. But the other horse got paint on it while the neighbor was painting his fence. So, the blonde went back and asked her neighbor once again. This time he said."Why don't you look at their faces?" And the blonde did and when she came back, she said,"They are identical!" So, the farmer said,"Why don't you measure them to see which one is taller." The blonde did and when she came back, she said,"The black horse is taller than the white horse!
6.THE TRUCK!"
Score: 3
(posted by TOMMY MEILHAMMER on 04/28/00)
THERE WAS A BLONDE,RED HED,AND A ANOTHER BLONDE THE WERE DRIVING DOWN THE RAOD IN THE RED HEADS PICKUP TRUCK. ALL OF SUDDEN IT CRASHED INTO THE RIVER THE RED HEAD ESCAPED AND WENT FOR HELP THE FIRE FIGHTERS RESCUED THE TWO BLONDES THEY ASKED WHY DIDN'T YOU COME OUT WITH THE RED HEAD.tHEY SAID "WE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE TAILGATE OPEN!"
7.3 Men"
Score: 3
(posted by Mac on 04/29/00)
There are 3 men wallking. They come up to a large river. The 1st man says, "God make me smart so that I can cross this river." God turns him into a redheaded man and he builds a raft and paddles across. The 2nd man says, "God make me even smarter so I can cross this river." God turns him into a brown haired man and he swims across. Then the 3rd man says, "God make me even smarter than my 2 companions so I can cross this river." God turns him into a blonde woman and she walks across the bridge.
8.hair dresser"
Score: 3
(posted by sean on 05/05/00)
A blonde walked into a hairdresser's with a pair of headphones on and asked the hairdresser for a haircut-but not to touch the head phones o.k. "fine" said the hairdresser-a little taken back but happy for the work. three weeks later the same blonde returned and asked for another haircut with the same condition, whatever you do...do not touch the headphones. no problem said the hairdresser who went on to give her another good haircut considering the restraint three weeke later the same thing happened "and don't forget-do not touch the headphones" said the blonde. well just has the hairdresser finished and she just lifed up one side of the headphones up. the blonde promptly fell stone dead on the floor of the shop. "oh my god-i think i've think i've killed her" the hairdresser screamed. she picked up the headphones and put them on her self and she heard the strangest thing..."breathe in... breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."
9.Raking leaves"
Score: 3
(posted by sporty_girl on 10/14/00)
A blonde went to the hospital with a broken leg.When the docter asked her how she broke her leg,she said "raking leaves."how did you break your leg raking leaves?he asked.she said'"i fell out of the tree."
10.Madame"
Score: 0
(posted by Stardust on 12/25/00)
Knock-knock
who's there?
Madame
Madame who?
M'damn foot's stuck in the door
11.WINNIE THE POO!"
Score: 0
(posted by ANA on 12/27/00)
Q:WHY WAS TIGGER LOOKING IN THE TOILET?
A:BECAUSE HE WAS LOOKING FOR POOH!
12.Jesus"
Score: -3
(posted by ME ME ME on 12/15/00)
Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
You dont know Jesus!?
BOOOOOOHOOOOHOOO!!
13.silent"
Score: -3
(posted by Doug on 07/12/00)
Knock Knock
who's there?
silent.
Silent who?
---------------------
14.Coke"
Score: -3
(posted by H.Hilton on 08/04/00)
KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
COKE
COKE WHO?
COKE TRUCK!
15.luke"
Score: -3
(posted by dickonastick LJ on 08/12/00)
knock knock:
whos there:
luke:
luke who:
luke through the key hole and you will see me
16.SNEEZE"
Score: -3
(posted by Chezzerei on 08/07/00)
Knock Knock,
Who's There?
Hetch
HetchWho?
BLESS YOU!
17.boo"
Score: -4
(posted by wildchild on 04/24/00)
knock-knock
who's there?
boo
boo who?
if your gonna cry i am not gonna tell ya!!
18.KKnock"
Score: -4
(posted by david on 06/20/00)
Knock Knock Who's there? Amanda Amanda Who? A man duh!
19.Stupid"
Score: -4
(posted by Me on 06/19/00)
knock knock
who's there?
oh wait nevermind i forget
20.BOO!!!"
Score: -4
(posted by zappo on 06/24/00)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!!
21.BAA BAA BAA"
Score: -4
(posted by Nat on 07/06/00)
Knock Knock,
Who's there?
Interupting sheep!
Interuptin BAA BAA BAA
22.Stinky"
Score: -4
(posted by Teej on 07/07/00)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Stink Heap
Stink Heap Who?
(Say it out loud)
23."Y'ot"
Score: -4
(posted by Woody! on 07/09/00)
knock knock
who's there?
y'ot
yot who?
y'ot to know me by now!
24.My joke"
Score: -4
(posted by Me on 07/10/00)
Knock-knock!
who's there!
Ider!
Ider who!
I don't know either
25."little boy"
Score: -4
(posted by ???? on 07/13/00)
knock-knock
whos there
little boy
little boy who cant reech the doorbell
26."Freedom"
Score: 4
(posted by Zinovi Golodner on 08/03/99)
Nixon and Khrushchev are discussing whose people enjoy more freedom.
Nixon says "One may stand in front of the White House and scream 'Down with Nixon!' and nobody will object to that."
"What's the big deal", says Khrushchev, "you can stand in the middle of the Red Square, yell 'Down with Nixon!' and nothing will happen to you.
27.Death bed"
Score: 4
(posted by Pi on 01/13/00)
Cleaner Polishes Off Patients.
South African Health - Pelonomi Hospital
Date: 26 July 1996 10:08
"For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a dead patient in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for the
Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. "There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks
on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues." "However, further inquiries
have now revealed the cause of these deaths. It seems that every Friday morning a cleaner would enter the ward, remove the plug that
powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had
finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not,
after all, hear the screams and eventual death rattle over the whirring of her polisher.
"We are sorry, and have sent a strong letter to the cleaner in question. Further, the Free State Health and Welfare Department is
arranging for an electrician to fit an extra socket, so there should be no repetition of this incident. The inquiry is now closed." - Cape
Times, 6/13/96
28.TWO KIDS"
Score: 4
(posted by AMY B. on 03/14/00)
Two Kids Were Trick or Treating. As they went to their first house, the lady answer the door and asked what are you supposed to be. They said, " George Washington and his Wife." The lady said that George Washington and his wife were'nt black. So they went back home and change their costum. They went back to the same house and the lady answered the door and asked, "What are you suppose to be now?" They said Abraham Lincoln and JFK. The lady said the Abraham Lincoln and JFK were'nt black. They went back and came back naked. The lady asked, "Oh my goodness, what are you supposed to be now?" Chocolate Bars, one with nuts and one without nuts.
29.u momma"
Score: 4
(posted by bbgurl on 12/27/00)
your momma so homeless she said that she was movin and all she brout was a pair of underwear and a blanket
30."Best yo mamma jokes"
Score: 2
(posted by jessica on 12/13/00)
fuck u
big mamma jokes"
Score: 1
(posted by greeny and whitley on 12/12/00)
your mammas so fat when i was shagging her
i burnt my arse on the light bulb
31.like a turtle"
Score: 0
(posted by martin wong on 09/23/00)
your mama's like a turtle,
when she's on her back she fucked